Family, Uncategorized
I am back from my wonderful, much needed family vacation!! It’s been years since we did something like this.
I started organizing and packing up the family at least 4 weeks before our excursion to the other side of the country, the entire time wondering if the trek with 2 young and energetic boys, the rising level of our expenses and my loss in sanity would be worth sitting on a beach for a week.
It was.
It was, it was, it was.
I am eternally grateful for all the relatives who were drooling to spend time with my children- and did, leaving me with REAL legitimate relaxation…not the kind that is interrupted every 5 minutes with a child’s need for attention. I took complete advantage.
Some listen to music while on the sandy beach, others like to read. I choose to sand sculpt.
To me, there is nothing like sitting in the silk soft sand for hours and hours, getting filthy dirty the way I used to when I was a child, letting my mind wander freely and creating something from my deepest imagination. Sand sculpting is cathartic, therapeutic and cleansing. My only stress was wondering when the tide might come to wash it all away, and even that became less of a stress after a few days, and more of a way for me to feel part of the universe.
It was a terrific lesson of the natural process of all the we are and all that we are a part of. The tide, although different each and every day is something we can come to count on, toying with us, supporting us, watching what we build for hours before it slowly comes in little by little to wear our creations down…eventually until there isn’t even a sign of our work.
Yet, we don’t cry over it- we build a new creation the next day. I am glad to be back, and especially grateful that I was able to take with me a new sense of purpose and bliss. My sandcastles may be gone forever, but the construction of my spirit has given me a strong foundation for living a long and happy life.
Art is good for the soul.
Community, Family, Member Contributions
Even with all the benefits to you and your family, making the choice to come home after working a job will be HUGE. It’s not unusual for our identities to be wrapped up in what we do. When that changes, it can take a minute to recover. Be patient with yourself through these changes. Acknowledge your loss and have compassion for yourself.
Change and loss come in many forms. For instance, we all know what it feels like to lose friends. Relationships have ended for each of us. A job or career is a form of relationship. The pain we feel from these losses corresponds directly with the depth of our investment of emotion. The greater our love, the deeper our pain. Remember the quote, “It’s a far better thing to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” It’s true. Really. Even when it comes to your job or career.
When it comes to moving through changes, there’s no way around it. The only way out of it is through it, and going through it is what change is all about. We heal the past and discover the future. We learn compassion. We experience forgiveness; of those we believe have transgressed, of life for bringing change in the first place and most of all, of ourselves. And self forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to a deeper experience of life. Are you ready to step over the threshold?
Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I’ll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.
Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as “The Bounce-Back Coach”, she works with people who are “bouncing back” from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.
Community, Family, Member Contributions
Do you work from home? Would you like to? More and more people are moving home to work, and I couldn’t be happier for them! Although the circumstances around these situations aren’t always the best; lost jobs for instance, I firmly believe that at least for women, families are much happier in the long run. Even if it means sacrificing a playroom for a home office, kids will have a better life with Mama close at hand. Trust me, it doesn’t take long to get used to picking up toys off the living room floor every night. Think of it as exercise. Back straight, bend, squat, up and again…2,3,4.
I went back to finish college when my firstborn was 3 months old. (Insert sound of heart wrenching). A couple of years later, after waiting tables for a full year while trying to launch my business, I was finally able to chuck my apron, pack my brief case and come home. I’m still working from home 25 years later. (Check my notes on face book for the whole story).
There were a couple of stints over those two and a half decades that I tried to – brace yourself, I’m about to say it – work a job. There. Whew! I got it out. Those experiences lasted about 6 months each and were truly wonderful in many ways, but honestly, I couldn’t wait to get back home. Besides, I was still running my home-based business so my work load was heavy.
Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I’ll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.
Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as “The Bounce-Back Coach”, she works with people who are “bouncing back” from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.
Family, Uncategorized
It doesn’t matter how many times we are warned. We don’t get it until we are actually experiencing it. And maybe that is the point after all. Maybe we were meant to experience our own journeys. Why allow others to warn us when life is supposed to be lived by each of us, personally?
I think about this often when I am going through the trials and tribulations of… well just about every aspect of my life. 4 1/2 years ago I was not yet a mother, or a business owner…and when I look back at that time- it almost makes me laugh at how “empty” my life was. I was a baby myself.
I never thought motherhood would be like THIS. I never thought I could become selfless, where it would actually be difficult to do things for myself without putting my children first. I never thought I would forget to eat. I never would have trusted myself as a business owner. I never would have had the gumption to “prepare for attack” to a complete stranger who had insulted my son- like a lioness ready to pounce. I never thought I’d be utterly insulted that my child wasn’t chosen to be a Jedi at the Disney Star Wars Training Camp. Couldn’t they see that he was clearly the most adorable kid in the group?
I never thought I would forget what it feels like to be bored, and actually long for it on some days. I never thought I would feel this kind of love for a child- when honestly other people’s kids never did it for me. I never thought I’d be okay with sacrificing so much of our lifestyle- just so I could afford to stay home every day. I never thought I’d yearn for adult interaction this much- and then when I finally have a night out without the kids, I never thought I’d miss them as much as I did. I never thought I could love a second child as much as the first, and was surprised to learn that it made me love them BOTH even more.
I never knew my kids were going to turn out so terrific, so beautiful and smart and talented, and hilarious. I never knew I’d be so happy with 2 boys, and be okay with not having a darling little girl to dress up with little dresses and bows. I never thought I’d be able to work this hard for no pay.
I guess I am glad I didn’t listen to the warnings. It’s so much better experiencing it all for myself.
Community, Family, Member Contributions
Why do we women divide and take sides over our issues? Breast vs bottle, home birth vs Epidural, and now the career mom vs the work at home variety – why do we think less of the woman who chooses another road, and worse yet, why does she think less of herself? We may not agree, but must we condemn one another for our choices?
There seems to be a lot of mud slinging going on these days between stay-at-home-moms and working moms. This saddens me! We’re sisters. Hasn’t the world doled out enough feminine oppression? Must we turn on each other? Because if we do, we’re really turning on ourselves. All that are as a gender was wrought by woman-to-woman support. We held each other up, stuck it out and stuck together, and the cost would be far too great for us to turn away from each other now.
For one reason or another, the choice to stay at home or work from home may not be available to everyone. Sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control. And sometimes it’s just not what they want. Who am I to judge?
Let’s not ask each other to feel guilty about our choices. Instead, let’s invite each other to examine our lives and recognize there are options. We’re not victims and we’re not stuck. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE to shift gears.
Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I’ll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.
Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as “The Bounce-Back Coach”, she works with people who are “bouncing back” from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.
daddysden, Family, Uncategorized
Stripper poles should not be a part of a home. If you own one and I’ve offended you I apologize (sorry mom), but I personally can’t imagine explaining it to my daughters. This new exercise fad serves as a reminder of all the stuff I’ve pushed aside as a responsible parent.
If I didn’t have kids I’d listen to more obscene radio morning show DJ’s with names like Crap Boy & Charlie (oh Crap Boy, you’re so funny and relatable). I’d pee with the door open. I could once again pick my nose anywhere in the house without a little voice nagging, “Put it in a Kleenex dad!” My computer’s music library wouldn’t have all the bad-titled songs “X’ed” out. And I would have a stripper pole. Twelve of them. Less for exercise and more for structural integrity… but yeah.
Come to think of it I’ve been style-shedding for quite some time. Getting married was the first blow. Suddenly my framed Aerosmith poster wasn’t good enough for the living room. Or the basement. Or the frame itself (Dear S. Tyler: I’m sorry*). Gone were the shot glasses above the TV. Everything I gave up was replaced in equal proportion by either a candle or another pillow.
*In a wildly unrelated side story that just crossed my mind: When I was 22 I loved Aerosmith. Borderline unhealthy admiration. Anyway, I was at a dance club trying my damndest to talk to/dance with/touch the shoulder of any girl who’d allow it. One took an interest and danced several songs with me until the DJ played a Run DMC Walk This Way remix. She yelled, “That’s awesome, I love Aerosmith.” My heart leapt. I reached into my wallet and pulled out a plastic embossed card with the wings logo on it and yelled back, “Me too, I’m in the fan club!” The remainder of the night I danced alone.
The change keeps coming in waves. My shower used to simply house soap, shampoo and a razor. Those items all multiplied and had smelly little babies that exfoliate, scrub, and silken. My shower has evolved into its current form… an explosion of rubber ducks, foam alphabet letters and Nick Jr. paraphernalia.
Everywhere I look I see things I’ve either given up or altered for the sake of my wife and kids. Why do we do it… as men, that is? Why we change for our spouses is easy – sex. A high percentage of living room Aerosmith posters directly correlate to a low percentage of boobies.
But why change for our children? They don’t care how badly we decorate. They don’t see the radio morning shows’ raunchy content as negative. They just soak it all up and shape their lives around it. Therein lays the answer.
We dads modify our behavior in hope of being better men, thus creating a better environment for our kids to be shaped. We give up or suppress the ugly in order to grow more beauty. Sure, some of the vices we enjoy as adults are fun and tough to give up, but one look at those innocent, inquisitive eyes and you’d sacrifice anything for them.
I’m a little winded by all this sappiness. I could stand to exercise. You got a pole at your place I can use? I’ll bring my own Aerosmith mix tape.
Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for The Daddy’s Den, he writes and illustrates his own children’s books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.
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