Ally Loprete
(Or What to Expect When You Are Expecting to Work from Home)
Written by Ally Loprete
First, let me say that I realize that the title to this piece may seem a bit partial, and while I supposed that it probably is, my intention is not to be inequitable against those who don’t have children and wish to be self-employed. However, this article is not really about becoming a wealthy entrepreneur. It’s about earning legitimate revenue to contribute to the survival of your household while balancing parenthood.
If you are a parent looking to be self-employed, my guess is that you are willing to make sacrifices. You would like the option of spending the majority of the time that you are awake with your children, and would prefer that your child not see a nanny, or the inside of a daycare more than they see you. This is not about how you may or may not feel judged by society. It is about what you innately desire as a parent, which is not in the least bit selfish. It’s a parental instinct, and there should never be any shame in that.
You are not alone in wanting more for yourself and your children. If you are like most parents you would give up your job in a heart beat to stay home with your children, but you probably believe that you cannot afford to do so. Or maybe you have already decided to stay home with your children, but you promised your spouse you’d find a way to earn an income, and it has yet to happen. Maybe it’s harder than you thought, and the research that you’ve done online has given you an overload of work-at-home “schemes” that has succeeded only in information overload. Well, I am here to give you some good news: Becoming a self-employed parent is a possibility….yes…even for you.
It’s a scary leap to make, yes. But you are no slacker, and you are willing to work hard…if only you had some sort of inkling how to go about it, knew for sure that quitting your job to start over wouldn’t be the worst mistake you ever made in your life. If all that you are missing is some necessary information to help you make that leap, than you’ve come to the right place.
To be clear, this list will not make you self-employed, but it will open your eyes to the possibility. It requires is diligence, focus, and some risk.
Here is the truth about what to expect:
- Stop looking online for the perfect work-at-home job. It doesn’t exist. There are a million companies that will tell you otherwise because they want you to buy into one of their programs, take their courses, or purchase a franchise. They promise all sorts of things, and make their programs sound really good…too good. Your instinct is to stay away from them, and there is a good reason for that. You know it can’t be that easy, and you don’t have the luxury of wasting any amount of time or money on something that won’t pan out in the end. Time and money are more precious now than ever. The key here is to find a legitimate way to bring in an income….it may not be a substantial amount, but it will be enough to contribute to the survival of your family while you are staying at home.
- Multi-level marketing opportunities are not scams, but recognize them for what they are before investing in one. There are millions of people who have found success in MLMs, and if they help to provide an income for a family, terrific! We support them, and we do not judge. However, don’t jump into the business of one without realizing what it is going to take to be successful. If your business relies solely on recruiting your family and friends, they may start to feel the need to avoid you because they are afraid of being “sold.” Unless you come from a sales background and you are already surrounded by a supportive network of family and friends who has no problem buying all of your MLM products, this may not be the best choice for you and your family. If you DO choose to go this route, don’t blame your relatives for not investing in your products. It’s not fair to them, nor is it their responsibility to grow your business.
- Realize that you already have what it takes to become self-employed. You don’t need to invent a new product, or come up with a new concept that has never been tried before. You have skills and the ability to do exactly what it is you have already been
doing. You don’t have to have a business degree to be a CEO, you just have to know how to offer a service. The question you need to ask yourself is this: “What am I currently doing for someone else that I can be doing for myself?” You are skilled at something. Accounting, marketing, graphic design, administrative support, dog grooming, hair cutting…Just to be clear, this is not a question of what you’ve always wanted to do, it’s what you are ALREADY doing. Chances are, you know how to do it well, and you know what it takes to keep doing it. Remember that this is a REALISTC approach to becoming self-employed. This is most likely NOT going to make you millions. It is simply going to allow you to survive doing exactly what you want to do- earn a bit of revenue while raising your children.
- Take a look at your finances. Don’t just ponder it for a moment and try to add up things in your head. Really, take out a piece of paper and write out what you are currently spending on things, paying special attention to the categories that will shrink once you are working from home: business attire, dry-cleaning, gas mileage and car maintenance, car insurance (yes, it will go down if you no longer have a long commute each day), daily lunches eaten out, daycare, etc…) Don’t judge the situation just yet, just do the task. You can also take into account that if your spouse becomes the sole provider, The family will get a significant tax reduction. Letting go of your stable paycheck will be the scariest thing of all, but if being at home is truly where you want to be, you’ll be able to make the sacrifice.
- Make some cuts. This is one of the hardest first steps to becoming a self-employed parent, because it means you are going to let some things go. First, realize that just because you have to cut down on some indulgences does not mean that you are living in poverty. You will survive. Look at your credit card statements, your cell phone bills, your other spending habits. Lower your cell phone plan minutes, brew your own coffee, use the library to borrow books and videos. Consider how often you use your gym membership and if your physical activity can be replaced by taking the kids for a walk, or joining a weekly stroller strides group. You will not be seeing as many movies, so invest in a video service such as Netflix, which is significantly less expensive. Instead of meeting friends out for drinks, (which has suddenly become even MORE costly from the need to hire a babysitter) invite them over for a game night. Let go of your season tickets and watch the games on TV for free, or check your local listings for community events such as free concerts in the park. You must learn to change your lifestyle a bit, but now that you have become a parent, your life has already changed and you may have found that you have said goodbye to a lot of these luxuries anyway. It won’t be long before you may actually prefer a night in with the kids and an animated video. Most likely, you will begin to enjoy the creative activities that you are able to come up with as a family. On the rare occasion that you are able to hire a sitter and get out with your grown-up friends, it will mean more to you than it ever did before.
- Start with the basics. Make a list of the things you need in order to offer your service- even just on a limited basis. Hold off on hiring that webdesigner for just a bit, and ordering those businesses cards. Start with the basic tools you need to
be able to provide your service. You may find that you already have much of what you need. If not, then make a small investment in these basic tools. This is a lot more cost effective than purchasing a franchise, or renting an office space. You can always upgrade later, as your business grows. Once you become self-employed, you will be your own boss, and that means you will be able to create your own rules. You can charge less that your competitors, because you will be working out of your home, and your overhead will be absorbed into what you are already paying for rent. You can choose your own hours, and re-arrange your schedule around naps, playdates, or your spouses work schedule. Remember to get creative. You are the boss, so you call the shots. For example, if you are a hairstylist, you can offer to go to you clients home. This will circumvent paying rent at a salon so you will be able to charge less than your competitors (which your clients will appreciate). You may even be able to bring your kids with you to play with your client’s kids- a playdate while you work! It’s a win-win.
- Start slow. Offer your services for free to family and friends- just in the beginning. This will help you build up a client base, as well as give you a chance to get the hang of things without the added pressure of being perfect. Send out an email to friends and family telling them of the service that you are offering, and tell them that you are willing to waive your fees just so you can gain a bit of necessary experience. In exchange, you may ask for them to support you in another way such as contributing to an email campaign, or watching your kids for a few hours a month. If you have never done anything like this before, give yourself room to grow, and don’t be so hard on yourself if you mess up. You will learn from the mistakes that you make, and this will make you a better entrepreneur.
- Barter your services. This is a great way to minimize those start-up costs that you were worried about. It’s also a great way to network, and get testimonials, not to mention gain experience in your chosen field.
- Use the internet and become a master of online research. You can get just about anything you need to start your business for free. Basic websites, templates, voicemail boxes, advertising opportunities, legal advice, newsletter services, even business cards. Some services are free for only a certain amount of time, so take advantage while you can. Check out the OurMilkMoney.com Resource Page for a list of services that are free or minimal. Talk to other parents and ask them about the resources that they use. Everything else can be bartered – especially with other self-employed parents- and that is who you want to be supporting from now on, anyway. It’s good karma. Trust me, it always comes back to you.
- You are not in this alone. There are currently more than 5 million work-at-home parents and that number grows every single day. These are not your competitors, this is a large support network of people, who are just like you. They need you just as much as you need them. Reach out, ask for help, and be ready to listen and learn. There is an abundance of information out there at your finger tips FOR FREE. This can sometimes feel like information overload, but it can provide you with exactly what you are looking for the moment that you need it.
Remember to pat yourself on the back often. As your own boss, you will need it. Rome was not built in a day. Earning a revenue will take time, so expect to struggle for a few months. Even the most successful businesses take time to become profitable. Finances will be tight, and it may seem like you are working twice as hard for less reward. But keep your eye on the prize, and trust that you are as good as anyone else who has chosen to work from home. Your greatest reward may not be the income, but the abundance of time you can now afford to have with your children, and being able to call the shots in your own life.
Family, Member Contributions
I peeled an orange for my son, Braden and put it on a plate for him on the kitchen table while he was on the couch watching TV. Then I told him, “Braden, there is an orange here with your name on it.” He got up off the couch very enthusiastically, and ran over to the table where the orange was. After a moment of looking very confused, he looked up and asked, “where is my name?”
Is your kid hilarious? Share your funny stories and kid quotes here. We will be choosing the ones that make us laugh the hardest and posting them on our newsletter. The next one may be yours!!
Uncategorized
Wow. The reason I am writing about this because I hope that someone else will be saved by my very frightening experience. I am not exactly a computer pro and could have easily fallen for this just as anyone could, so please just read this and educate yourself about it. Maybe it will save you!
This Trojan:Win32/FakeVimes is actually a VIRUS imitating a VIRUS, so that you will purchase fake software- that would ultimately get into your computer and steal private information. It has a horrible noise a long with the pop ups- super scary- telling you that someone is currently “in” your computer and if you don’t hurry up and purchase, it will be too late.
The good news is that I didn’t get infected… I almost did…but something told me too look into the situation further before I went in complete panic mode. I am super grateful.
So, I was just doing an innocent google search when all of a sudden a bright red warning popped up on my computer telling me that I was horribly infected. The computer automatically started running (what seemed to be) a legitimate scan of Windows Defender…which resulted in 22 threats. This just scared the twinkies right out of me. But whats even more frightening was that I wasn’t able to continue on with any of my work. The warnings just kept popping up, sort of freezing my computer and telling me that if I continued, my entire system would be taken over by a hacker. Little did I know that these 22 threats were really just lies being told to me by one REAL THREAT… The Trojan:Win32/FakeVimes Virus…which apparently comes from – are you ready? – surfing the internet. Pretty Scary, huh?
The way I figured it out was this:
I logged off the internet…I figured no one could steal info as long as there was no connection. I don’t even know if that is true, but it made sense in my mind. It seemed to be the thing that saved me. As soon as I logged off, the warnings stopped.
Then I went into the control panel and ran my *real* windows defender. It took a much longer time to scan, and for the most part showed up clean. That is when I got my first clue that the others scans were not legitimate.
Ahhh, but the scan wasn’t 100% clean. There was one threat found- the real culprit- the trojan threat. So, only 1 threat as opposed to 22 that the virus was impersonating. Also, my *real* windows defender allowed me to clean and remove it right away (labeling it as “quarantined”) and I did not have to purchase anything new.
I then went to the Microsoft site to read more about it. Here is the link: http://www.microsoft.com/security/portal/Threat/Encyclopedia/Entry.aspx?name=Trojan%3aWin32%2fFakeVimes&threatid=4295108636
That is where it showed examples of the exact fake warning that were popping up telling me to purchase the software (which I admit, I actually considered for a mere moment!)
Phew!! Just wanted to share, incase this happened to you. If it has not…perhaps this blog will help you avoid it.
Ally Loprete, Family
Written by Ally Loprete
If you are anything like me, and I doubt it because most people tend to disagree with me on the subject, then you hate working out, too.
In the 35 years that I have been alive, I confess, I hated the task until about 3 months ago. Hated it with a capital H. I would have preferred to swallow glass. Probably the biggest reason I kept my distance from the gym is because I don’t like to sweat. If I didn’t sweat, I could get away with not showering for a few days- and because I have horribly frizzy curly hair that needs to be straightened (no, wearing it curly is just NOT an option for me, don’t even go there), I didn’t have the patience for sweating and thus, I hated working out.
But that is not all. I didn’t understand people who pretended to love it…seriously, I was convinced that they were all just liars. The few times in my life that I did attempt to get physical by joining a gym, I found myself counting the seconds before I would allow myself to stop. I could barely last 5 minutes. Climbing up stairs, riding a stationary bike, or on a fancy shmancy elliptical machine… how in the world did anyone find this fun? It was mundane, it made me lose my breath, it made me sore the next day, and I never really saw a loss in weight. It only seemed to increase my appetite and therefore resulted in a weight GAIN.
People actually liked this? I didn’t believe it. I had talked to a few people who told me about the “runners high” from an apparent release of endorphins. Never happened for me, and I admit that I began to wonder if it was all a myth, or perhaps they’d all drank the same Koolade of which I had yet to get my hands on.
But, I am here to tell you that in a strange turn of eventsd, my feelings for the gym have recently changed. No, there was no Koolade, and I did not recently discover some magical berry drink from the depths of the rainforest. The cure for hating the gym? MOTHERHOOD.
I am a proud mamma of two precious little boys: a toddler and an infant. As much as I truly appreciate that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my children, it wasn’t until the second one came that I realized how rare a commodity a nice hot shower was. If I ever found myself able to take one, say after dropping the 3 year old off at pre-school, and perhaps getting the baby to fall asleep, it usually ended up with the baby screaming in mid-shower and me rushing to get the shampoo out of my eyes all the while yelling out to the crying baby- “I know you need your binky, sweetheart. Mommy will be right there!” Think I was going to find a moment to blow dry and straighten my hair then? Forget it.
It wasn’t until I got myself a gym membership, which included child care for a mere $10 more a month per child, that I discovered the silver lining. If I actually worked out a few times a week- I could reward myself with a nice long hot shower, and maybe even have some extra time to pamper myself with a blowdryer and some make-up! Now THAT was worth going to the gym for.
But there were more great discoveries for me just around the corner. I had 2 hours all to myself at the gym- so by gosh, I was going to make the best use of this time. As a mother of 2, time to myself almost seemed like a lost cause up until now. This next little discovery is probably going to make most of you go, “well, duh!” but for me it was like unlocking the secret code to life, happiness, and those mysterious endorphins. Are you ready? Music.
I know, simple, right? But I never actually tried working out to music before.
I love music, and who doesn’t? I had even gone as far as studying it in college. As a singer and a pianist, I had a great love for all types of music and theory. But since becoming a mom, the only music that graced my home and my car was to the tune of “the wheels on the bus go round and round…”
Now with my new found 2 hours of “me time” I was going to allow myself to listen to music that I wanted to hear- anything I felt like! I had forgotten what magical powers music had! Completely behind in the trends, I finally figured out how to download songs to my blackberry. I invested in some itunes, put on my head phones and traveled into another dimension. I was filled with such bliss in my escape, that I almost didn’t realize I had been on the stairmaster for an entire 40 minutes sweating up a storm- and actually enjoying it. Yes, the girl who didn’t believe in working out was converted. Instead of dreading the minutes in which I huffed and puffed, I began watching the clock to see how long I had to stay in my happy place before hitting the shower.
I can honestly say with true commitment, that for the first time in my life…I have become one of THOSE people. You know, the freaks who actually enjoy going to the gym. Oh yeah, and that stubborn baby weight is finally starting to come off. It’s a nice little added bonus.
Family, Uncategorized
I was determined. To heal quickly from my cesarean.
To conquer the idea that I now had TWO kids rather than 1.
To get out of the house.
To prove to myself that although I don’t have family nearby, or neighbors to help out, I was completely capable.
I had been told by several of my friends not to even try it- it couldn’t be done. But I didn’t listen.
A friend of mine suggested that I order the groceries online to be delivered to my home. Another one suggested that I wait until my husband came home from work. I had considered waiting until the toddler had preschool and then take only the infant to the store. All good options, but I had issues with each one: I didn’t want to pay the delivery fee, my husband was working late, and my toddler only had preschool twice a week.
The refrigerator was empty, and so was the pantry.
I had no choice but to attempt this intricate task…today.
It started off fine, believe it or not. As I walked the aisles in the store, I remember thinking, “Hey! This is easy. I can accomplish this!” Of course it was very premature. I was worried that my toddler would take issue with walking NEXT to the grocery basket as opposed to being IN it, since the infant had now taken the prime and ONLY seat available, but actually he seemed to be proud at his new role as the big brother. I was especially grateful that the toddler did not disappear and then attempt to leave the store as he had done several months earlier, at a time when I was pregnant and too handicapped to be able to chase after him.
I confess that I had bribed the toddler with a box of cookies, so he was in fact behaving himself.
The first hitch began when I got to the car and realized that with the double stroller, the diaper bag, and BOTH car seats taking up the entire back seat, I had very little room for groceries.
I made a mental note to bring up the issue of purchasing a bigger vehicle to my husband that evening, which would prove to be a waste of my energy. I would later post my frustration on face book.
Somehow, I managed to squeeze the groceries into the unreasonably small trunk space of the Toyota Rav 4, and slam the door before anything could fall out, knowing full well that opening it again would create a new challenge. I opted not to be concerned for the moment, as I had other tasks to complete. I would cross that bridge soon enough.
Got the kids in their car-seats. First the toddler, then the infant- so as not to have the toddler running in the street and stopping traffic while belting in the infant. Drove home. Okay.
Now HERE is where the real chaos began. By the time I had pulled up to the house, my car at become a chamber of hissy fits, tears and pandemonium.
It was at this point that I realized I had a real dilemma of which action to take first. The infant needed me to nurse him, the toddler wanted his cucumber sandwich with the crusts cut off and a side of apple slices, I hadn’t eaten yet- which was an important task to accomplish before I attempted to nurse, and the groceries were melting in the car.
Plus, I had to pee. Badly. And to those ladies out there who have also been pregnant, you can attest to the fact that it takes several months before one’s bladder is even close to recovering from the trauma.
But this? This was like Sophie’s choice.
What to do first…
Feed the Toddler?
Feed the Infant?
Feed myself?
Save the melting groceries?
Save my bladder?
To be honest, I don’t remember how it went. But the important thing is that it all worked out… because, well, here we are.
As I write this, my well-fed boys are napping (another miracle in itself!), my bladder has been emptied, and the groceries have been put away. Somehow I survived, and I am now able to chalk this up to another lesson learned about how I need not over-extend myself and to know my limitations as a mother.
From now on, I shop when the toddler is at preschool, or my husband is home from work. If I get desperate, I will sit down at the computer and type my grocery list into the virtual shopping cart. If I get REALLY desperate, I will take the boys out to eat.
Now, onto the next task: How to convince my husband that we need a minivan.
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