![Work/Life Balance Part II – All About YOU!]()
Julianne Wish
By Julianne Alvarez-Wish
As parents, we often put everything and everyone else’s priorities above our own. Our ‘to-do’ list grows daily and anything personal on that list either perpetually moves down or falls off all together never to be seen again.
It is extremely important to remember to make some time for yourself – a little bit each day or maybe once or twice per week. Do something that is just for you – whether it be pampering, reading, taking a walk, taking a nap, listening to your favorite music, connecting with special friends, etc.
If you are not taking care of yourself – physically, emotionally, etc., then the people you love will suffer as will your business.
We all need to be in top form if we want to maximize what we do for our families and businesses.
Right now – take a few minutes and look at your schedule (yes, you should have one and that’s another post entirely that is coming soon) and block out some time for YOU!
Here’s to a happier, healthier, more productive YOU!
Julianne Alvarez-Wish is a military wife, mother, business owner, professional writer, blogger and legislative advocate. She is the Director of Communications for Our Milk Money, the Colorado State Leader for the National Association for Moms in Business and the owner of Buy By Mom and Buy By Mom Blog. Her passion, purpose and goal is to help parents work from home so they can be home with their children.
daddysden, Family, Uncategorized
During the course of this blog I’ve established I’m a stay-at-home parent. Although at-home parenting isn’t a new concept it is difficult for some people to imagine a man doing. I’m not complaining – I have a hard time erasing the conventional from my own brain (Johnny Carson is on at bed time, right?).
While trying to come up with a topic for this blog it hit me… I’m not that different. At all. From a woman, that is.
People want to get my perspective on being an at-home dad. They genuinely want to believe I make blow torch grilled cheese and mop the floor with my daughter’s pj’s while she’s inside.
The reality is far from glamorous. I, like any stay-at-home parent, wake blearily to a schedule full of diapers, cooking, cleaning, planning, playing, instructing, yelling (from me) and crying (me again). I don’t see how it’d be possible for someone to do it any differently. Who would have time to build an erector set sweeping machine when boogers are stuck in their kids’ hair (and the dog’s, although I don’t know how exactly). It takes every second of the day to accomplish stuff… in a standard, non-sensational way.
What I’m saying is that when asked for my perspective I can’t imagine it being too far off from what my female colleagues would say. If there are things to cook… I cook. Things to clean… I clean. I can say I’m rather quirky, so I do put a little flavor on my day to make it interesting. Next time you have your children for the day try communicating mostly with movie quotes. Here are a few to get you started:
Forrest Gump “Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream!” Used when giving child ice cream. Or asparagus – it just sounds better to call it ice cream. Kids love being fooled like that.
Taxi Driver “You talkin’ to me?” Use this phrase when child demands something of you without saying please. Or just recite random lines from “Taxi Driver” to telemarketers. It does wonders for your morale.
Fight Club Tyler Durden: “Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?” There is no need to quote this other than to watch your two-year-old’s face try to figure out what the hell you just said.
Pulp Fiction Marsellus: “In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.”
Butch: “In the fifth, my ass goes down.” When appropriately modified to reflect time, this quote can work wonders for naps.
But I digress. Hey look, a job’s a job and you do what ya gotta do to make it all come together, whether male or female. Unfortunately, the only alluring side to what I do comes from my quirkiness, not my manliness.
Now it’s time to welcome my wife home from work with another movie quote I’m sure she’ll love. “Frankly my dear…”
Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com’s The Daddy’s Den, he writes and illustrates his own children’s books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.
![Work/Life Balance Part II – All About YOU!]()
Direct Sales, Member Contributions
Most direct sales businesses cost relatively little, perhaps $100- or less for a “starter set” which may include marketing materials and full size products to demonstrate or show to potential customers. There are many people who will agonize about this $100- decision, talking themselves in and out of the business opportunity without ever committing to give the business a try.
If you are intrigued by the business, have uncovered no “red flags” and are still tossing back and forth about your decision, my suggestion would be to create your own “Pros” and “Cons” lists. A few minutes spent listing out all the reasons to start a business can eliminate weeks or longer of pain from indecision, help you to isolate emotional excuses and identify some of your fears that can block your success.
Some people may say, “You’ll never know unless you give it a try,” and I agree. However, why try something that you are not committed to giving an honest effort? You could be setting yourself up for failure.
All self-employed people will agree that there are no shortcuts in business and in order to make a business work, you need to work. Your success will truly depend on you so ask yourself, “Am I willing to work to make your business work?” If the answer is “Yes,” then go back through your two lists. Remember that fear, just like excitement, are emotions that can fade. So based on the facts, your “Pros” vs. “Cons” about the opportunity, which list wins?
If you like the products, can get excited about sharing the products with other people, your “Pros” outweigh your “Cons” and the company you are investigating has passed the “red flag” test, then perhaps you are ready to take the plunge into the world of self employment with a firm commitment for the direction you have chosen. OurMilkMoney.com, the nation’s #1 network for self-employed parents, will support you along every step of your new journey!
Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children, Mona has created a company, TINK INK Publishing, for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books and recently transitioned to a brand new direct sales organization, Ava Anderson Non-Toxic.
Direct Sales, Member Contributions
Let’s say that you just heard about a great product offered by independent sales representatives from a direct sales organization. You think the opportunity sounds appealing but you have not been able to decide “yes” or “no” on whether to get started. It is very normal for people to wonder whether they can be successful at owning their own business, particularly if they did not grow up in an entrepreneurial environment. However, if you feel hesitant or pressured to get going, rather than jump right in, it may be a good idea to check out the business a little more.
Here are a few suggested areas for you to examine:
How marketable is the product? Is it something that people will need or want? Is the price fair and less than similar products available through stores and online? Is there something special or unique about the product that makes it different from the competition?
What are the start up costs? Does the business require a large investment? Is there something of value that you receive for the price?
Do you understand how you make money? Is there a fair commission on products sold? Are there requirements that you must meet in order earn commissions? How do the commissions work on team members? Is the marketing plan confusing or simple to understand?
If you have questions before you even begin, chances are they will linger if you decide to move forward with the business. Allow yourself the time to investigate the organization, make sure you have eliminated any doubts about the opportunity on the front end and, most importantly, remember that there is no such thing as a “get rich quick” business. If it sounds too good to be true, it just might not be true!
Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children, Mona has created a company for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books and recently transitioned to a brand new direct sales organization, Ava Anderson Non-Toxic.
www.tinkinkpublishing.com
www.avaandersonnontoxic.com/mona
daddysden, Dads, Family
No there’s not. Monsters don’t exist. What does exist are newborn babies. The five-week old variety in my home, to be precise. The similarities between her and a monster are staggering.
For one, she’s scary. My two-year old is freaked out by the primal screams echoing through the house at any given time. I’m scared of what she’s capable of, seeing how she already inflicted bloody pain on my wife during birth. It took a team of nurses to clean up the mess. Just horrible.
Her eating habits mirror that of a monster. My wife, bless her soul, is breastfeeding. Although I’ve never actually seen a real monster eat, I’m pretty sure it would be similar (that is, if while ingesting food parasite-style, a monster tends to fart a lot).
She was born with a lot of hair. Monsters have hair.
My baby/monster eats other things, too. She transgresses the boundaries of physical space and can actually devour my time. It literally took me 3 hours one day just to pee. This is a basic function I previously enjoyed with much frivolity. NO MORE! The monster has taken my time to pee. Just horrible. Monsters are gross. Babies are grosser. By analyzing these two statements one can conclude, with philosophically sound logic, that I have a super monster. Liquids, solids and gases of all color have made their way out of her. It’s not enough to simply change a dirty diaper, but she will literally spray venom at you like that little dinosaur from Jurassic Park. Now don’t tell anyone I told you this, but last week *I can’t believe I’m going to share this* she almost pooped in my mouth a little. I won’t offer all the details, but let’s just say I was inspecting a diaper rash with slack-jawed curiosity when the worst nearly happened. If that doesn’t convince you she’s a monster, I don’t know what will. Just horrible.
She can’t talk. Some monsters have speech problems as well.
Have you ever seen the X-Men Wolverine movie where Hugh Jackman’s love interest can persuade people to do things just by touching them? My baby/monster has that power. Now she’s here and our family is complete my wife and I have been talking about surgical options for birth control. Surgical. Options. Prior to this the closest a knife would’ve come to my “area” was, well… never. Ever. Never ever. To summarize, my baby is an X-Men mutant who has influenced us to harm ourselves.
Weak neck. The blob had no neck.
The saving grace here is the Gremlins. Gizmo was a monster. My baby doesn’t like bright light. She isn’t fond of getting wet. But she is exceptionally cute and sweet, much like that loveable mogwai. She doesn’t get carried around in a backpack the way Gizmo did, but another contraption – the Bjorn – is arguably identical. Even though she terrorizes us we love her anyway. Oh, and one last thing. Never feed her after… wait, we ALWAYS feed her after midnight. Ahh, so that’s where the ugly monster comes from!
In conclusion, if you have a cute monster at your house you need only follow one rule: don’t feed them after midnight. That, and don’t look too closely at diaper rash with your mouth open. Just horrible.
Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com’s The Daddy’s Den, he writes and illustrates his own children’s books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.
Resource Articles, Uncategorized
These are the songs that make me want to get up and get going!! Never underestimate the power that music can have on your soul. Your kids will love these songs, too. They will see their mommy happy and enjoying her day. If you have young children, take advantage of this age! There will come a time when dancing around might make your kids gag. But if they are not yet tweens, they’ll want to dance and sing right a long with you. Feel free to leave a comment with your favorite tunes. I’d love to know what you think I missed!
Freedom -George Michael
Free – Phish
You Don’t Know Me – Ben Folds
Landed – Ben Folds
Off the Wall – Michael Jackson
King of Spain – Moxy Fruvous
“Superstar” Andrew Llyod Webber sound track for “Jesus Christ, Superstar”
Phantom Limb – The Shins
No Rain- Blind Melon
Let Go- Frou Frou
Jive Talking – Bee Gees
I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
Southern Cross – Crosby Stills and Nash
So Much to Say – Dave Mathews
Shiny Happy People – R.E.M.
America – Simon and Garfunkle
I Get Around – Beach Boys
All you Want – Dido
Someone Saved my Life Tonight – Elton John
Pleasant Valley Sunday – The Monkees
The Love You Save – Michael Jackson
In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
Fall Down – Toad the Wet Sprocket
L-O-V-E – Nat Cole
I Don’t Want to Know – Fleetwood Mac
In My Life- The Beatles
Falling Slowly – From the film “Once”
Let’s Go Crazy – Prince and the Revolution
Abba – Angel Eyes
Mr. Jones – Counting Crows
I’d Like That – XTC
Aquarious – “Hair” Soundtrack
Ally Loprete is a stay-at-home mother of 2 boys, a former television, theatre and film actress, singer, performer, storyteller, and teacher. An advocate of parents, Ally founded OurMilkMoney.com, an online business directory of self-employed parents and an organization dedicated to helping parents find financial opportunities and support. She is also the host of This Little Parent Stayed Home weekly radio show available on Toginet.com, and the playwright & performer for her one-woman show about the journey of dealing with unexpected drama in life, Chasing Ally.
Family, Uncategorized
If you are a work-at-home mom like me, then your days are jam packed with a full itinerary, and you have to schedule time to pee. Each day is an exercise in extreme flexibility and if you get anything done as expected it is counted as bonus.
As immersed as I am, I know that this very well may be the most exciting time of my life, and I don’t want to miss it. I’ve made it a point to schedule in little bits of time for myself that are JUST MINE. It’s important that we take time to enjoy it all, even in the midst of carpooling with blue tooth conference calls, blogging during nap-time and podcasting while folding laundry. It’s not easy- but it is crucial. To keep a healthy pace and stay in tip-top shape, we must keep organized and commit to giving ourselves “happy time”.
With an overcrowded schedule, you may need to multi-task your happy time just like everything else. Here is a quick list of ways to incorporate some rose smelling among your daily chores:
- Make a schedule. As organized as I try to be, I never feel organized enough. I can’t believe there is one mom in the world who feels her life is completely put in order every day, and if there is, I’d like to meet her and tell her I am sure that she is lying. However, you must never underestimate the power of making lists. If you can find 5 minutes at the beginning of each day, jot down the things you hope to accomplish, and make sure you add some time for yourself to decompress. I have found that just making the list is a moment that I can claim as mine. It helps me to feel more in control of my day and ready to take on whatever disasters may be awaiting my arrival. Plus, is there anything more satisfying than being able to cross off a completed task?
- Listen to Music. I recently made a CD called “Hey, I LOVE this song”. Which is a compilation of songs exactly like the title of the CD. These are songs that when are heard, I usually gasp and say, “Oh my god I love this one…” You know what I am talking about. It probably wouldn’t take you long to create your own list given 20 minutes. I play these songs at the gym, when I doing house chores, and in the car. My kids have learned to love these songs as well because when these special songs fill the air, they see their mommy at her happiest. Never feel too silly to dance with your kids or shake some booty while stirring the vegis. Happy music = a happy house. (for a list of my personal “LOVE this song” or “guilty pleasure” songs, visit here– and I make no apologies).
- Get some exercise. Believe me, I know that finding time to work out is as difficult as finding time to sleep on most weeks. In fact, when I was working in the corporate world, finding time to work out was literally impossible. I don’t mind saying I took real offense at people who said I needed to make it a priority- especially because I barely had time to eat, sleep, or spend time with my new baby boy. But if you are a stay-at-home parent, you have more control of your schedule than ever before- as packed as it may be. In the corporate world, I was PAID to sit on my tush all day- not exercise. But now that I am my own boss, I have realized that the gym is a wonderful place to get some “me time,” not to mention a long shower…and nothing beats the productivity that comes from that time. I get my best ideas on the treadmill!
- Laugh. Laugh with your kids, laugh with your spouse, laugh with other grownups you see at the grocery store, at your kids school and sports practices, and laugh with yourself. Life is full of hilarity, and if you are not laughing on a daily basis, it means you are moving too fast to notice it. Your kids will never be this age again. Instead of being one of those parents who are constantly murmuring, “I hate this age, I wish they’d grow out of this annoying phase soon, “ be the parent that relishes each moment, makes mistakes and cracks themselves up. You’ll be surprised at how much your kids will admire you and grow to be adults that are celebrating their lives at the envy of others.
- Create a grateful list. This always, always, always improves my spirits 200%. I highly recommend that you do this at least once a month. The list should be of things that you know you are privileged to have in your life. It may start out with obvious entries such as, “I am grateful that I have a roof over my head. I am grateful for the food in my fridge.” but eventually you’ll feel more genuine about your gratitude. You should make certain to also include things that you WANT to be grateful for as if they are already in place. “I am grateful that my 4 year old is well behaved and doesn’t pick on his younger brother. I am grateful that the baby is finally sleeping through the night.” Don’t underestimate the power of wishful thinking. It’s funny, this is the one task that people seems to balk at when I make the suggestion, but once they do it, they are always amazed at how worth their time it was.
Ally Loprete is a stay-at-home mother of 2 boys, a former television, theatre and film actress, singer, performer, storyteller, and teacher. An advocate of parents, Ally founded OurMilkMoney.com, an online business directory of self-employed parents and an organization dedicated to helping parents find financial opportunities and support. She is also the host of This Little Parent Stayed Home weekly radio show available on Toginet.com, and the playwright & performer for her one-woman show about the journey of dealing with unexpected drama in life, Chasing Ally.
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Direct Sales, Member Contributions
Chances are high that we have all known someone who has tried their hand at a work-at-home business through a direct sales company. Perhaps they were even successful at their venture and turned a part-time position into a full-time career, going beyond just earning extra money to creating a substantial fortune in commissions, cars, jewelry and trips. So how do you know if this journey is right for you? Over the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring the pros and cons of the direct sales industry, uncovering some red flags to look out for and helping you to decide if this is the best route for you and your family.
Let’s start with a few of the pros and in my opinion, there are many. First, a business is a business whether it comes out of a box (direct sales) or you create it from scratch. The only differences include lots of time and money! A direct sales business typically has a low entry fee, no experience is required and training is provided. Reputable companies offer a great product at a great price which can be significantly lower than competitors because through this form of sales, many of the overhead costs have been reduced. An entrepreneurial person can work a direct sales business from home in their spare time with low or no quotas and could be making money their very first month in business!
Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children and maintaining a leadership position with her organization, Mona has created a company for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books.
Chris Loprete, daddysden, Dads
By Chris Loprete
A 1955 edition of Housekeeper’s Monthly released a Good Wife’s Guide. Please look it up and read it. It’s priceless. Here are some examples on how to be a good wife when your husband comes home.
- Prepare yourself. Put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking
- Remember he is the master of the house. Don’t question him
- Try to encourage the children to be quiet
- Don’t greet him with complaints and problems
- Listen to him. His topics of conversation are more important than yours
- Try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his real need to be at home and relax
- A good wife always knows her place
And that barely scratches the surface. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Why oh why wasn’t I a husband in the 50’s?” No? Oh. That’s just me then. But even a Neanderthal like me sees how these “rules” simply don’t apply today. First of all, who says the “wife” is the one at home? I know several “House Husbands” and none of them put a ribbon in their hair before their wife comes home from work. They usually wait until the weekend. Also “his real need to be at home and relax” somehow indicates that the stay at home parent has been relaxing all day. A very reliable source has assured me that that is not the case. So with all of this in mind, I have composed a counter guide. I call it:
The Guide to the One Who Works Outside the Home
- Prepare yourself. You may be home from work, but you’re not done working yet
- Master of the House? You haven’t been home for 8 hours with whiny kids while trying to run a home based business. You’re not the master of anything
- Try to encourage the kids to be quiet (okay this is sound advice even in the 50’s. I think we can all agree on that)
- You’ve both got complaints and problems. Vent to each other and don’t play the “My day is tougher than your day” game. You’re both right. And wrong. Either way nobody wins
- Listen to each other. I’m sure you both have good topics of conversation. You may want to include the kids too. Check that. If you’re trying to talk to your spouse, the kids will include themselves…very…very loudly
- You both have a world of strain and pressure and a real need to relax. The sooner you help each other, the sooner you can both do just that
- A good wife does always know her place. So does a good husband. It happens to be the same place. Home. Be a team.
![Work/Life Balance Part II – All About YOU!]()
daddysden, Dads, Family
By Nathan Bright
The first egg goes in beautifully. No trace of shell in the mixture at all. With my speed being matched only by artistry, I blister through the kitchen confident of a timely meal that will lead into clean-up, followed by coats, then a punctual appearance to a friend’s house.
“I help,” says my two year old.
Her words resonate like a movie moment demonstrating fear and confusion. “Of course you will sweetie,” I say. the Dad in me knows to include her in anything I can. It builds skill, confidence, and a bond between parent and child. However, the Me in me obsesses on the clock. She’ll slow me down. Dinner will be late. We’ll rush out the door and be tardy, again, to our function. Again.
I let her help. Eggs explode, raw meat almost in mouth, hair stuck to counter, falls off stool, cries, help stir, help wipe floor, help stir more, wipe floor more and dear-heaven-has-the-oven-been-preheating-for-an-hour-how-much-is-the-gas-bill-going-to-be?
This scenario plays out quite often. Patience in letting them help is par for the course. By letting them help we know it’ll be more work for us, but they need the experience anyway. But how does this translate into other areas?
I’m a stay-at-home-dad (by choice). Our numbers are growing. Just like any non-traditional movement there’s a stigma over which we’d like to hop. The “Mr. Mom” syndrome, if you will, such as the bumbling man guy who fashions duct tape into cereal bowls. As amazing as duct tape cereal bowls would be (and completely doable!) us stay-at-home-dads don’t want to be pigeon-holed into being thought of as bumbling.
I know I’m great at cooking, cleaning, kid activities, multitasking, etc., but what do others think of me? My fear is I’m viewed as the two-year old and my wife is the adult. It’s thought that she lets me help only to secretly clean up my mess afterward. These situations demonstrate what would come out of a child’s mouth and what folks would presume comes out of the stay-at-home-dad’s mouth:
Situation: Sweeping the Floor
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: “want to help?”
Two Year Old says: “let me walk through this pile of dirt first.”
Bumbling Dad says: “I’ll get the leaf blower.”
Situation: Laundry
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: “want to help?”
Two Year Old says: “I can fit 4 bras on my head.”
Bumbling Dad says: “I can fit 6 bras on my head.”
Situation: Grocery Shopping
Adult Figure and/or Wife asks: “want to help?”
Two Year Old says: “take me to the toys or I’ll cry.”
Bumbling Dad says: “take me to the beer or I’ll cry. Did you know I can fit 6 bras on my head?”
Point being – I’m not bumbling. I’m not merely included…I’m autonomous, much the way my two-year-old soon will be. I run an excellent home for the benefit of my family. My wife trust me to be productive and make good decisions. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to look into that duct tape thing. And maybe fold bras.
Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com’s The Daddy’s Den, he writes and illustrates his own children’s books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.
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