Family, Uncategorized
Written by Ally Loprete
Drama has been with me for so long, I don’t even remember where we first met. I think it was sometime during elementary school because by the time I was in junior high, it was sitting next to me in every class, eating lunch with me, and keeping me company while I walked home from school each day.
It started out shyly stalking me. It followed me wherever I went and hid behind bushes and buildings so that I wouldn’t see it. But I always knew it was there. At first, Drama was just sort of annoying to me, and then its presence began to torment me to the point where I’d try to avoid it at all costs, outsmart it, or hide from it by getting lost in a crowd of people and disguising myself as no one special… but Drama always found me. I tried to reason with Drama, asking it to leave me alone, locking it out my bedroom, and refusing to feed it or nurture it. I had hoped that it would just give up and find someone else to pursue, but nothing worked. Like a lost puppy, it had found its home with me, stayed loyal to me and waited outside all night in the cold for me, happily wagging its tail the moment it saw me. It would continue to tag along side me, each and every day. Some days Drama was more present than others, but it never left my side.
Drama came with me to high school, stayed all 4 years, and then followed me out of state to college. It lived with me and all of my college roommates, in the dorm, the sorority house and even in my first apartment. It stood next to me at graduation, was there when I took my first job, my second job, and pretty much every job after that. Eventually I just began taking Drama with me to job interviews so that potential employers wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Drama would be following me to work each day. Some employers graciously accepted it, and others did not.
Often when I went out with friends, Drama would be there. It accompanied me on blind dates, to parties, or even just out to the movies by myself. Drama has lived with me at every apartment, condo or house that I’ve had. It’s made its way into every group I’ve gotten involved with, and every friendship or romantic relationship that has come into my life. Drama was there when I first met my husband, on the day that he proposed and it even made several appearances on our wedding day. Drama has been living with my husband and I ever since.
It’s with us on weekdays and weekends, it joins us on all of our family vacations, holidays, and special events. We brought it with us when we purchased our first house, when we bought new cars, and whenever we have changed jobs or careers. Drama was with us when my husband and I decided to start a family. It stayed by my bedside throughout both of my pregnancies and was there at the hospital the day both my children were born.
Drama has become such a part of our lives, that if it ever left us, we’d feel that there is something missing. Some people seem put off by the fact that Drama comes with us wherever we go, acting almost as if they are allergic to it, afraid to go near it, or even hoping that if they ignore it won’t exist. Others have been very accepting of it, and have come to understand that it is part of who we are. We have embraced Drama as a member of the family, and honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s taken some time, but we’ve learned to be grateful to Drama for being present in our lives. It’s because of Drama that we’ve become the well-rounded, seasoned and experienced people that we are today. Drama has taught us love and acceptance, how to lower our expectations, strive for growth, take risks and have a sense of humor about ourselves. It has shown us the difference between good friends and GREAT friends, brought us together with those we love during times of anger and sadness, war and disease, and other life tragedies. It has shown us that we are resilient, even during our most vulnerable times. It has introduced us to new people and situations, and taken us on journeys, both thrilling and exciting, that we never expected to go on. Drama has given us incredible material for our acting careers, our one-person shows, our books and our blogs. It has inspired us to create, invent, take risks, start new business ventures, and connect with others who also have Drama, similar to ours, in their lives.
We love to tell stories about Drama and do so over and over again at family reunions, and Thanksgiving Dinners. We will continue to pass the stories down to our children through the generations. Drama has brought laugher into our lives, as well as tears.
It’s because of Drama that we are who we are, where we are, how we’ve come to choose so many of the paths we’ve taken in our lives, and even how we’ve learned to survive. Drama has been documented in our history books, our newspapers and magazines. It is in our favorite TV shows and movies, the books we read, and even the commercials we watch.
Drama is everywhere we are, and once we embrace it, we are able to realize how it has nurtured us, emerged us into new opportunities and possibilities, teaching us how to make lemonade out of lemons.
We love Drama, and we are not ashamed to admit it, as others may be.
I have grown to feel sad for the people who don’t have at least a little Drama in their lives, and wonder how boring and empty their lives must be. Although, Drama has been known to follow others from time to time…even those that deny they know anything about it, lurking in the shadows and showing up when they least expect it. I know how Drama must frighten them, but I also know that they have nothing to be afraid of.
But it’s the people that have welcomed Drama into their lives that seem the healthiest, the least threatened and the most blissful. Drama is a gift.
Ally Loprete, Community
Written by Ally Loprete
The thought of actually sitting down and scheduling some lazy “do absolutely nothing” time probably seems very stupid as well as a waste of time. Entrepreneurs, especially parents who are constantly on the go between their company and their families, really need to schedule some time to where they just sit back, relax and decompress.
When you are constantly on the go and running all over the place, attempting to work 7 days a week, in between playdates, naps, mealtime, laundry and grocery shopping, not only do you get overly exhausted by the 4th week, you run the risk of beginning to resent your company, the company that you started out loving. You may even begin to resent your children, the ones who you fell so madly in love with, you decided to work from home to be closer to them. Both responsibilites will soon seem like a ball and chain that you can’t get away from. This is not why you decided to work from home.
A written schedule can fix all of your problems. This is something that you should do every day of the week, whether you schedule your down time for the Saturday and Sunday weekend, take Monday off of work, take an extra long weekend, or just cut out of work early on one day a week. Your job as a parent continues all week long, so it’s important to account for ALL of your time.
1. Schedule in Realistic times to work, remaining flexible. For me, I am able to work Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons when my oldest son is at preschool and my youngest in napping. Every once in awhile my schedule is blown by an early riser, but it’s a time I can count on for the most part. I can also work for a few hours in the evening when my husband comes home, and Sunday nights when the weekend festivities are over and my husband can take over.
2. Make a list of weekly tasks and dedicate a day to each task. Mondays are for blogging and posting, Wednesdays are for social networking, Fridays are for PR. Evenings are for responding to emails and getting organized for the following day.Weekends are for catching up, but never more than 5 hours in a single weekend.
3. Schedule in “Mommy” or “Daddy” time. I had made a promise to myself and both my sons that each morning until lunchtime I would not work at all. I could schedule playtime, take them to a park, arrange a playdate, or even do some mommy chores, but my laptop was to remain closed. I also used this time to do mommy chores such as go grocery shopping or folding laundry. Because I was able to find ways to include them in these mindless tasks, they did not appear to resent this time as it did not seem like “work” to them.
4. Schedule in time for you. Just as the body needs food to stay nourished and sleep to stay refreshed, taking time to relax and clear your mind will work wonders for your health and your productivity.
5. Schedule time with friends and family. Date night with your spouse, with another couple, game night with neighbors, a visit with relatives, or out with your friends for a social gathering. It’s as important to your sanity as a good night’s sleep. Commit to 1-2 nights a month, if that is all you can squeeze in, but make that minimum a priority. It should give you just enough of a break from your work that you can go back with the same appreciation for your company that you started out having.
Uncategorized
Written by Ally Loprete
Working at home: it seemed like such a good idea at the time. You believed that it would give you more time with your children, the freedom to work in your pajamas, a limitless income possibility, and the ability to create your own schedule, own rules, own pace. For many, this is a dream that turns into reality.
It is said that once you work for yourself, you will never be able to go back to working for someone else. For many, working at home is freedom, but still for some, it is easy to let the work consume you every moment you are awake, and probably while you sleep as well.
It is important to remember that you are still in control, and that you need to enjoy all of the perks that come with being self-employed, as long as you remember to grant yourself those perks, just as you promised yourself you would when you “accepted the job” to work for you. If you are not given the perks that were originially promised, it’s only natural that you will lackluster your productivity, and eventually grow weary and lose inspiration.
Here are some tips to help you increase your work-at-home productivity:
1. Create atypical work hours. As parents who are self-employed, we have 2 jobs, and getting up from the computer to pour your 2 year old more milk will always be more important than responding to an email, or posting a blog. You may have grown more patient as a parent, but interruptions like these can be daunting. Save your most crucial, concentrated work for the evening when your spouse is home from work, and has agreed to let you lock yourself into a quiet room without interruptions. For me, this time is from 7:30pm-10pm during the week. You’d be surprised how much you can get done in 2 ½ hours.
2. Create an end time to each day, and “clock out.” It may be difficult to cease working when the house is exceptionally quiet for once, and you are finally feeling productive, but don’t get lost in the moment. Find a good stopping point, pat yourself on the back for a job well done and step away from the computer. My clock out time is 10:00pm
3. Schedule in some rest and relaxation time each night before going to sleep. For me, I give myself an hour to do anything I want, but work. You may choose to watch TV, read a book, or do a crossword puzzle.
4. Invest in some kind of technology. Depending on the way you look at it, this could be the greatest thing toward making you more productive, or it could cause you to become confused between work time and family time. It may be an iphone, blackberry or another PDA, but in a world where productive mothers love to multi-task, the technology that has presented itself in the last decade has made it possible for us to do it all- within reason. If your iphone allows you to quickly answer an email while attending your son’s little league game, it’s worth it. But if it keeps you out of the moment and you’ve missed your son hitting the ball on more than one occasion, it’s time to go back to the drawing board, create a more productive schedule, and turn off the PDA during family time.
5. Trade your services. I don’t mean your business services. Create a co-op babysitting group with another parent. Self-employed parents are no longer a rarity, and chances are there are atleast 4 or 5 on your street who would be willing to watch your kid for a few hours one day in exchange for you watching theirs.
Ally Loprete, Community
There is Much Power in Numbers, So Let’s Commit to Supporting One Another.
By Ally Loprete
Lately, I’ve really been fascinated with numbers.
This fascination has grown recently, I imagine, from creating my own internet-based company. The infinite numbers to be comprehended are literally incomprehensible — and fascinating at the same time. These numbers give me enormous amounts of optimism and frighten me at the same time. In fact, this number game is what ultimately what led me to create the concept for my business, OurMilkMoney.com.
It must have been about seven months ago that I was lying awake one evening after my family had gone to bed. I imagined that there must be zillions of parents across the country who were thinking the same things that I was. Perhaps zillions had also left their corporate day jobs to discover that staying home was by far the better way to go. Maybe zillions of new moms also took that leap of faith, spoke to a zillion husbands and said, “I am going to start my own company and work from home so that I can stay home with the kids,” which prompted a zillion panicked faces on a zillion different men. These zillions also were soon to learn that it would be twice as much work as they’d ever expected, but would vow to make it work for the sake of their families.
If there really were zillions that lay awake the same way I was, going through the numbers over and over again like it was some kind of riddle to be solved, then that was at least a zillion connections I wanted to make. Were zillions of us really choosing to take but a fraction of our previous income for double the amount of work? Yes, this was THANKLESS work, with no sick pay, no paid vacation time, no group health benefits, and no company lunches paid for — and yet, we’d chosen this new role as if it was the greatest opportunity we’ve ever had for ourselves, and it made us feel a zillion more times at home. Were we all just insane?
It was thoughts like these that made me realize the power in numbers. If there truly were large numbers of parents out there just like me, I could certainly use their friendship and their support. In exchange, I’d be happy to lend mine. More than that, I wanted to make a pact with all of these parents: “I’ll buy your stuff if you’ll buy mine.”
Easy enough. Now where would I find these parents? It shouldn’t have been difficult to find them with zillions of pages of information available at my internet fingertips, so I decided to begin looking each time I made a new online purchase. I searched. And searched. And searched. Every time I made any purchase online, I put in an extra keyword “parent” to narrow my search and pull up a vendor who was working from home to afford the opportunity to stay home with their children. I became more and more shocked at how difficult this was, and it frustrated me. I KNEW there were parents out there who would love to sell me their shampoo, just as much as I’d love to buy it from them! It shouldn’t be so hard to find them!
That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. If there was no such search directory, I was going to create one.
So that is what I did. I have created a way for a zillion parents to support one another, and I feel a zillion times better. One day we’ll all be zillionaires! Or at least we’ll have made a zillion new friends in the process.
Ally Loprete is the Co-Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, an online directory of self-employed parents across the country. Ally’s focus is to help expose parents working to create a better life for their families and her mission is to educate consumers on the value of purchasing from the small business owner. Ally is passionate about inspiring parents to connect with one another, and will often write about the brilliant ideas that seem to come to her only in the shower or while blowing her hair dry.
Community
When You are Trying to Make Money, It Shows
By Ally Loprete
Starting my own business has been a huge educational experience for me. My business partner, Kelli, and I realized that in order to build a national directory of parent-owned businesses, we needed to have the businesses with which to build it. It was because of this that we decided to give away every membership we could while the site was being built. Since we already threw out the idea that we would make any income whatsoever in our first year, our true passion for our project came through and, for three months, we received hundreds of inquiries every day from parents all over the country asking how they could be a part of our mission. Some were willing to pay even though we were offering these listings for free.
What we learned from this is something that we’d like to share with you. If you are a business owner, you know that there are trends, cycles, up swings, and downward spirals. Very often we think that the state of our business has to do with the state of the economy. We blame our worst days on things like the recession and forget to give ourselves credit for the good days. We need to believe that we are more responsible for the cause and effect of business trends than we can comprehend to giving ourselves credit for.
Your energy and passion for your business is a powerful tool. Although we are big believers in the “Law of Attraction” we don’t believe that anything is as easy as just “willing it.”
It’s important to see the dynamics of how your positive (or negative) energy works for or against you.
When in doubt, ask yourself these five simple questions:
1.) What am I trying to accomplish? The answer should never be “earn more money.” If it is, people feel it, and they are hestitant about your true sincerity. It may not be obvious, but it’s probably enough to make your potential clients decide at the last minute not to make a purchase from you — even if they don’t really know why.
2.) Am I as excited about what I am doing that first week when I decided to do it? If not, do what you can to get back to that point. If you did not take notes for yourself or journal right at the beginning, now is a terrific time to start. Journaling can help you get back to your original goals when other things begin to cloud your vision.
3.) Do I believe that what I am offering is valuable? This goes back to why you first started. If you no longer feel that is it is valuable, this may not be all your fault. Any occurrence can change a trend. This does not, however mean you should give up your once valuable business or concept. Find a way to adjust with societies changes. Large companies do it all the time. Or perhaps you do still feel that your product or service is valuable, but others aren’t seeing it that way. What can you do to reach out and convince people? Your clients do want to hear it from you, and you must believe that your explanation will be valuable to them.
4.) Do others appreciate knowing me? It’s important to be an expert in your field. But more important than that, people need to feel comfortable coming to you for advice, and not feel worried that you will charge them for your time, or request something in return. If others sense that you are trying to “sell” them, it won’t matter how much of an expert you are. That icky feeling will cause them to look for another expert who seems genuinely concerned for their needs.
5.) Am I giving to others for the sake of giving? Whether you believe in karma or not, a good exercise is to look for a way to help someone else the moment you need someone to reach out to you. When we are struggling, the most difficult thing in the world is focus on someone else’s struggles — yet it’s been proven to me time and time again that it’s the best time to walk away from your own issues and offer assistance to someone else. It never fails. Giving to someone else almost always yields assistance waiting for you in the wings. Don’t believe me? Put it to the test sometime. You’ll be pleasingly surprised.
These may be simple suggestions, but if it helps you to set your energy back to a healthy balance, you will see a change in your business for the better. Donate your time, and your passion to others, and they will flock to you. Ironically, when the money starts rolling in, you probably won’t notice and may not care about it as much. That is the best way to take control of it, rather than letting it control you.
Ally Loprete is the Co-Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, an online directory of self-employed parents across the country. Ally’s focus is to help expose parents working to create a better life for their families and her mission is to educate consumers on the value of purchasing from the small business owner. Ally is passionate about inspiring parents to connect with one another, and will often write about the brilliant ideas that seem to come to her only in the shower or while blowing her hair dry.
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